an ounce of whiskey in my milk

We tend to forget things. That’s a common trait among us.  

So here is a flash poem story 💡


“We’re all Kardashians”


I was once a homeless security guard in Seattle, nobody knew I was homeless but me- I was pregnant and put on the same two uniforms every night, and once they made me watch a pregnant girl go pee. Who would do such a thing? Who would look into the camera and laugh? Well I’ll tell ya, you had to have a receipt, a receipt to go pee. Century Square it was, downtown Seattle, awful restaurants and cafeteria lined tables, midrange coffee stops and a few overpriced clothing boutiques. Office spaces and whatnots,1501, lobby and a closed off corner where the bathrooms were. Locked. Always locked. This I knew already. Being homeless and all, I knew the routine. Downtown Seattle you cannot, cannot go pee. Even McDonald’s on 3rd, where all the junkheads used to shoot up- no sir gotta buy a burger get a code, then they still watch you- the officer- yes a goddamn officer in McDonald’s no joke. Home of the arched and the braved. Anyway- this corner where the bathrooms were, you had to have a receipt from one of the shops and punch in a code. Plus, plus- there were cameras. A camera right by the door. Which is a little weird if you think about it. But up on the 16th floor we had a booth, and we would sit in said booth, two officers at a time, and you could watch that camera, or any camera other you chose. Everyone’s favorite was one of the cameras on the outside, by the bus stops. Once they installed the newer versions, HD, you could zoom in and even almost see what someone was texting on their phone. Funny. They liked to watch the women too. slow and rewind. look at her so hot so hot. Once we saw a couple of kids get jumped by a group of streetkids. I saw a kid pull a knife on another, I didn’t go out for the rounds that night, just turned my head and acted like I didn’t see it. And I always, always, saw people with their overfilled carts, their too-full backpacks and too-long faces. I knew my own, hell everybody knew. But they didn’t know about me. So when they made fun of the man who took a shit by the parking garage- I didn’t chuckle. When they bemoaned and begrudged- kicking the bums in the doorways 5am before the PROfessionals started whisking in the doors- I said nothing. Always nothing. Now I’m sure you’re thinking yeah why didn’t you say something especially if you knew it was wrong, but you see I was homeless too and I did not know what to do. Pregnant and alone and sleeping 2 hr shifts at Angelines on 3rd and Lenora. Now let me tell you something I don’t know if you know how tired pregnant women are but i was bone tired and when that lady would shake me awake 2pm and yell two hour shifts! because it was daylight i would plead wih her i’m pregnant and i’m so so tired and i work all night see i’m security not a bum anymore i’m trying she would flicker just flicker and mutter ok I guess one more hour and i would sleep like a dead person which i was and i’ve been.  So don’t you fucking ask me why I said nothing. But when the black girl grabbed her stomach and looked into the camera something in me died a little more. The man I was working with muttered look at this. She spoke into the intercom to travel up 16 floors. Look i aint got no money and i really gotta pee please please can you let me. And he said ma’am ma’am take your finger off the button them’s the rules you can’t go here find somewhere else and she looked so sad forlorn like her whole woman inside died and she said but i can’t hold it in no longer and they said so and then she walked over to the porcelain walled corner pulled down her grimy jeans and peed in said corner. And the guards waved others over walking by the door come look at this crazy shit this crazy bitch just peed in the fucking corner look at this wild shit. And they all gathered and laughed and i saw her look up into the camera so awful sad and then he touched the buzzer and said you gonna have to clean that up we saw what you did and when she took off her jacket and stomped soaking up the pee they chuckled at her crazy bitch woman ways and made some more rounds. And she cried into the camera. And I sat there.  Watching. 



4 thoughts on “an ounce of whiskey in my milk

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